


Tell Me I'm Special

by Rahenna



Series: Ace of Hearts [7]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: Age Difference, Consensual Underage Sex, M/M, Morning Sex, Secret Relationship, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 08:02:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3167498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuki wakes up early the morning after sleeping over at Sakaki's apartment and has all sorts of thoughts, doubts, hopes, and desires. (Yuki POV)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me I'm Special

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> Originally posted here:  
> [Adults Always Lie](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/lies/)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**Sunday, July 2, 2017**

It's early morning. 

I hardly ever wake up early. I'm tired, more tired than I've been in a long time, but somehow I can't fall back asleep. My heart's pounding too fast. Too much excitement in the last few weeks, but this time it's something different that's keeping me awake. 

I'm in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. I think this is the first time I've woken up with someone beside me. 

A lover. 

My face is burning. Calm down, self! 

But I don't know how to react now. This has never happened to me before. What should I do? I should try to go back to sleep, right? He's still sleeping. I know I wouldn't want to be woken up this early in the morning, not after-- 

Not after what we did. 

Ah, I'm so embarrassed! If I think about it too much, I remember all those sounds. It was bad enough that I couldn't breathe normally, and everything kept coming out as a gasp or, even worse, some sort of moan. At least I had some control over that. But my body kept making all that noise, those weird sticky, wet sounds I'd never heard before, and somehow the bed kept squeaking-- 

And the things he said to me. That was the most embarrassing of all! 

_Just relax_ or _keep breathing_ was fine, but did he really need to say things like _open your legs wider_ and _are you already hard again?_

Ugh, stop thinking about that! 

...I can't stop thinking about that. But I'm going to make myself stop thinking about it, because if I don't, my head will explode. 

Don't think about it. 

We did it twice before going to sleep, and again in the middle of the night-- 

\--don't think about it! Don't think about how it felt! Or how it feels now. 

Wait, yes, do think about that! Think about that instead! Um, it feels... weird, I guess. My body feels different somehow. Not all over, just... there. Inside. Like some sort of echo of what happened, a feeling that something had been there, where nothing had ever been there before. If I close my eyes, I can almost feel the tiniest bit of that incredible sensation... 

Ugh, this isn't any better! Open your eyes, Yuki! 

Okay. They're open. I wish my heart would stop pounding, I'm sure it's going to wake him up. I can hear the blood rushing in my ear, the one against the pillow. I'm almost shaking, my heart's beating so hard. My fingers are trembling. 

His fingers are right there. I want to touch them, but I shouldn't. He'll wake up. 

I can't lose this chance to look at him while he's unaware. He's always so cold and so distant, but right now, he's so close, like I could reach out and touch the real person who's always hiding inside. Maybe that's why he hides so carefully. He looks so defenseless right now, cuddling the pillow like that and breathing so softly. 

I never realized his eyelashes were so long. They're almost touching his cheek. And his skin is so smooth and even, like a photo in a magazine, only it's real and I can touch it. 

Don't touch it, Yuki. 

Ugh, but I want to. I want to reach out and feel the warmth of the shoulder that's peeking out from under the blanket. I want to run my hand over that soft skin and down his arm to feel the hard muscle beneath. I want to remember how he was stronger than I expected when he wrapped his arms around me. I want to touch his hand, to lace our fingers together and remember how he squeezed my hand when I got too nervous. I want his fingers, those long and elegant fingers, to touch me again, touch me everywhere, even places I'd never dared to touch myself-- 

Get a grip, Yuki! 

But somehow I'm laughing, not loud, just a quiet giggle. My creepy laugh, he calls it. The one I make when I'm thinking of something adult. 

Is that what I am now? Am I an adult because of this? 

I don't know. Maybe? I don't think so. I'm still the same as I was yesterday. When I think about doing other adult things, like having a job and living on my own... I don't think I could do that. I'm not ready for that. 

So was I ready for this? 

It makes my chest hurt when I consider it. I'm worried. It has to be a secret. It's like we did something wrong instead of something special. I want everyone to know how I feel right now, so warm and excited. But I can't. 

I was so happy when we went out to dinner, when we came back here to his apartment, this special place where he likes to go and read, or just sleep without being disturbed. 

He kissed me. We... did things. And that's when I really understood that he'd done those things before, with someone else. I already knew, of course, but I didn't have to think about it until then. 

It's stupid, but it made me want to cry. I still want to cry a little, when I think about it. 

But I love him. 

And he loves me too. 

It's not a lie. He told lots of lies, but his love isn't a lie. It's hard to believe, but not because there have been so many lies. It's because... why would someone like him, so smart and talented and mature, love someone like me? I'm so childish, I can barely keep up in my simple regular level classes, and I don't have any real talents. I'm not special at all. 

_You are special._

Oh... he did say that. Maybe it's just my luck. 

I don't want it to be luck. I want it to be real. 

Please wake up! Tell me I'm special. Tell me you love me. 

No, no, no. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to make that stupid sniffling noise. I'm not going to half-hiccup, half-sob about this. I'm not going to cry into the pillow. 

Who's lying now, Yuki? 

Rustling. 

No, don't wake up now, I don't want you to see me like this! 

I hold my breath and force myself to be still. I wait forever, and I feel the back of my neck getting all sweaty. I have to be sure he's sleeping before I can relax. I have to know that he won't wake up and see me like this, because I can't explain it. I don't want to explain it. 

I'm afraid this isn't real, and that I'm not good enough, and maybe this is just a dream, and it was some sort of mistake, and I'll have to go back to being regular boring Yuki after this. I won't get to be special Yuki who's in love with a beautiful, sexy genius, who finally feels a little bit like an adult. I don't want to lose that feeling of being close to something special, of slowly learning little things about the person I love, until I'm the one who knows him best. Even more than he knows himself. 

How can I say all that without sounding like an idiot? 

"Asahina?" 

Oh no, I tried so hard to stay quiet but he woke up anyway! 

"What time is it...?" His voice is rough with sleep. It fills my ears, warm and sensual, and I hiccup again, more of a gasp than a sob. I can't resist him, not with that sexy voice, and those beautiful but serious eyes, too. I'm blushing already. 

"I... I don't know... it's really early..." 

He edges closer, still half-asleep, and touches my cheek with his thumb, brushing a tear away. The warmth lingers on my skin, tingling. "What is it? Did you have a bad dream? Or," he's suddenly awake, "are you hurt? Is your body sore?" 

"N- no. I'm fine." Why am I crying? 

The worry on his face softens into his normal expression, but it's still so different from that peaceful sleeping face, the one I wanted to keep watching. I ruined it. I had the chance to see his true face, and I had to go crying like an idiot. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Sorry? For what?" His arm wraps around my waist, warm and strong, pulling me close. I can't help sighing as our bodies press together, that wonderful and new sensation of bare skin against skin making my heart pound. My fingers twitch, wanting to touch in return, but somehow I've become shy with the early morning sunlight filling the room, and I don't know what to do with my hand. For now, I rest it tentatively on his arm, holding my fingers still. 

"I didn't want you to wake up," I finally admit, face warm. "I wanted to watch you sleep, you looked so peaceful... I've never seen your face like that before." 

The fingers of his other hand tickle through my hair, and I shiver with the soft pleasure of that intimate touch. "You're very sweet, Asahina. You'll have more opportunities to watch me sleep." A brief pause. "If you want to, of course..." 

"I want to!" How could anyone not want to? I'd never imagined that anything could feel so good. My eyes drop shut as I remember again, but somehow the memory isn't good enough, though I told myself I could never forget just how intense those moments had felt. Ahhh, I want to do it again, over and over, until it's impossible for those sensations to fade from my mind. Not just how my body felt, but all of it, the sounds and the heat and the smell-- 

"Mmm." My face is on fire but my breath is caught in my throat, my body's getting hot, and-- 

"Asahina, are you getting excited again?" 

Just the feel of his breath on my cheek, and that low voice in my ear... those two simple things are enough to make me answer with a shaky sigh. "I... please, don't tease me..." 

"I'm not teasing, it's a genuine question." His hand is on my hip now, thumb pressing into and tracing the hollow. Ugh, how am I supposed to think now? "Though with the way you're breathing, I suppose there isn't much of a question." 

How embarrassing. I can't hide anything from him, and every little thing gets me so excited. I don't know how I'm ever going to contain myself once we go back to school, and class, sitting there surrounded by everyone else who can't know the amazing things we've shared. 

"Let's not waste any time, then," he murmurs, gripping me tightly and rolling over onto his back, pulling my body on top of his. 

"Ahhh, what are you doing?!" I squeal. Like this, I must be crushing him, pressing down with my full weight. I move my arms and legs, trying to get up, but warm hands grasp my hips and hold me still, and it's all I can do just to grab his shoulders and push my chest up off of his. That motion, shifting my weight to my hips, presses us closer together. Together _there_. 

The realization alone makes me twitch. "O- oh..." 

His hands slide up my sides, pulling me down again. "You're a bit heavy that way. Lie on top of me and put your knees on the bed." 

My cheek, pressed against his chest, is burning. "I- isn't that still too heavy?" 

"Not really, it helps to get your weight distributed evenly. Besides," he makes a little laugh deep in his throat, "it's not like I don't want to feel your body against mine." 

I'm torn between being embarrassed and excited. All I can manage is a quiet giggle, a little nervous, but... being pressed together like this, I can't help wanting to move my hips, just to see how it feels. Ah- not so good, skin catching on skin-- 

"Too dry? I noticed you were getting a little wet already, use that." 

"P- professor!" How can he say those sorts of things so casually?! 

"What? It's only natural." His hand presses against my hip. "Lift up a little." 

Is he serious?! "I- I can do it myself!" 

"Where's the fun in that, Asahina? Let me." 

I don't know what to say, so I just make an indistinct sound of assent and do as requested. He wedges one hand into the small space between our bodies, and I give a little cry of surprise as cool fingers touch me - no, not cool, they're still warm, but I'm hot, swollen with blood and desire. Skilled fingers slide over my hot flesh, base to tip, lingering there to gather the slick liquid that's pooled there. 

"A... ah..." I tremble and feel a few more thick drops leak out into his palm. 

"Easy, Asahina. Try to calm down a bit, you don't want this to be over before it even starts, do you?" His hand grips me loosely, just enough contact to smooth the slippery wetness along my length. I force myself to breathe deeply, to avoid concentrating on that feathery touch. Taking it slow will be better. Won't it? 

Moments later, his hands are on my hips again - oh god, his palm is still wet! - and I let him pull me down, until I'm fully against him, knees to either side of his thighs. There's wetness between us now, not a lot, but better than nothing, and I know there will be more as soon as... as soon as I stop being embarrassed and start moving. 

It's only natural, right? I can't help wanting to do this with the person I love. 

It _is_ natural. I want to do this. It's not embarrassing. 

"Hold on to my shoulders," he instructs, and even his voice is a bit breathless. 

"Mmm," I agree, grasping his strong shoulders with my trembling fingers. His arms encircle me gently, one hand resting on the middle of my upper back, the other at the curve of my spine, where my back is just beginning to become my hips. That hand pushes down on my body in silent encouragement, pressing us even closer, and... 

I move. Only a little, and tentatively at first, a slight tilting of my hips forward and back, slow and rhythmic. My stomach tenses - not really my stomach, somewhere lower - winding tighter and tighter with each movement like the coils of a giant spring. 

Faster. This slow pace will never satisfy me. But soon even that isn't enough, my small movements not providing enough contact, not enough sliding. It's easier now, more slippery - just me, or both of us combined? I don't know, I'm just hanging on, fingers of one hand digging into his shoulder, the other clutching at his arm. I can't control my breathing, now a series of quick pants and gasps, and every once in a while, a quiet sound slips out, something that's half groan, half whine. 

There's the creak of the bedframe, and the thud of his heart beneath my ear, pounding just as hard as my own frantic heartbeat. His breath is heavy too - though nothing like mine - and once or twice I hear the wet sound of his tongue moving to moisten dry lips. 

His arms tighten around me as I rock faster, giving up any futile attempt to seem calm or in control of myself. My body is in control now, acting on instinct, and it's all I can do to hold on and keep breathing. All I can feel is the hot wetness trapped between us, the slide of hot flesh against flesh, every moment of contact winding the spring closer and closer to its very limit. 

"I... can't..." 

Is that my voice? It sounds so desperate. 

"Asahina..." His is barely more than a whisper, but that tone, I can't resist it. 

"Again," I gasp, writhing desperately. "Say it again...!" 

"Asahina," he repeats, louder this time. It's like an electric shock, hearing my name spoken with such desire. I can't keep myself from moaning quietly in response. Me, you're thinking of me, doing this with me, how is it possible? Fingers tangle in my hair, their tips rubbing my scalp. It feels good. Everything feels so good right now, but especially there, all hot and hard and slick. 

I can't hold on. I can't, I can't... 

Suddenly everything is wound so tight, my entire body is so tense it almost hurts. It only lasts a moment, but it feels like forever before it all unravels at once and I collapse with a shuddering cry, gasping for breath. My body trembles, and there's a rush of fresh heat between us, dampness flooding sweaty, sensitive skin. My heart's pounding so hard I can hear the rush of blood in my ears and feel it in my neck. 

Strong but gentle hands stroke my hair and sweaty back, fingertips tracing circles on my skin. 

"Asahina..." 

An eternity passes before I'm able to respond. "Ah... I... but..." 

Or maybe not. 

"Shh." 

A minute later, I try again. "B- but... you didn't..." 

His quiet laugh, low and sexy, makes my hair stand on end. "Oh, don't worry about that. You were having so much fun, I was satisfied just by watching and listening." 

Ugh, did you have to say listening? 

"B- but!" I can finally raise my head, just enough to look him in the eye. Well, he doesn't look unsatisfied, not with that almost smug smile. 

"It's not a contest, and no one's keeping score, Asahina. Your pleasure is just as important to me as my own. And you're just discovering the magic of your own body. I already know what I like." 

The warm afterglow has made me bold enough to ask, "O- oh? And what's that?" 

"At times like this, two things. A long, hot shower, and a cigarette. Not necessarily in that order." 

"P- Professor Sakaki! Smoking is bad for you!" 

"Right, right," he sighs, patting my head. His smile twists into a smirk. "So is having sex with me, but somehow that didn't stop you." 

My face is on fire. Again. 

How on earth am I going to go back to my normal life now? 

~ end ~


End file.
